good day brothers and sisters!

let me be the first to welcome to the a brand new world of funk and awe. you are now about to bear witness to the newest phenomenon on this lovely thing we call the interweb. yes indeed welcome to the MRJEFFDESS WORLDWIDE LISTINGS!

in essence we will be discussing the good, the bad and the funky. (in list form of course)

we will begin this journey with our first list, the top 5 “wait what just happened” moments of recent times.

number 5
so wait 31 pounds of liquid cocaine gets you how much jail time? 14 years!! what’s gonna happen to my fledgling music career? what will wyclef do without my beats son? carlye help a brother out! (7 years later) So here’s the list of bush’s pardons. is that my name? YES!!! wait what just happened?
JOHN FORTE= FREEDOM. CONGRATS ON BEING 1 OF THE 14 PARDONED BY DEAR OLD G-DUB II

number 4
Team A: so we don’t want you but we’re gonna keep you around. Player $$: i’m in the best shape though, but who cares i hate you too. gimme my money! Team A: hey we just traded half the team, we need you, do you wanna play? Player $$: Nope! go to hell, I thought you were going into another direction. gimme my money! Team A: you suck!! you’re suspended!! and still on the team!! wait what just happened?
STEPHON MARBURY STILL A KNICK!! WHY????

number 3
Lady: so you’re not qualified for this job. Dude: you are all about old washington. Lady: you are naïve about foreign policy. Dude: you are not about change. ( primary and general election victories later) Lady: i love your swag. Dude: i love your style. wait what just happened?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN NOW INTRODUCING OUR NEW SECRETARY OF STATE, HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON

number 2
so teammate Latin Quarter is crazy tonight? i know we have a game coming up this weekend but poppin these bottles is what’s up! hey man do you want a shot? don’t worry i got it let me just itch my leg. BANG!!!!!!! wait what just happened?
FEEL BETTER PLAXICO BURRESS AND GOODNIGHT! go giants! (w/o you)

and finally number 1
Location: Green Acres Mall. Patron 1: so i’m gonna push whoever gets in my way of this plasma tv. Patron 2: you know what, i’m gonna kick you in the chest just to get my hands on that ipod. Patron 3: hey i don’t care if a pregnant woman jumps in front of me i need to gets me a laptop. Patron 4: i got you all beat, even though i have no money, i am willing to kill a man and sell my soul for that new blackberry! wait what just happened?
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS MAY YOU REST IN PEACE BROTHER Jdimytai Damour, killed by crazed shoppers over some bullshit sales. black friday indeed.

peace.love.funk.