If elected, the water fountains will be filled with chocolate milk and red Gatorade. If elected, there will be digital TV’s in every locker. My opponent cares about the issues. My opponent may have won before. But who cares about you? I am about the citizens who dig Citizen Cope. Let’s make the lights brighter on Friday nights.  Recognize the versatility. Listen carefully to this announcement. A vote for me is a vote for Lebron James. Personalized letters have been sent to the King himself. Who do you think delivered these to the post office on North High Street? It was not my opponent. If elected I will keep Lebron right here where he belongs. My opponent is a snake. My opponent say go. Ohio says no. His management has already received the breakfast coupons. Number 23’s favorite cereal is Trix. Trix are for Kings. My opponent wants Lebron to start elsewhere. Start by voting for me. I will work tirelessly during the offseason.  You don’t need to tell me what you want. A vote for me is a vote for 23. My opponent is a Dodger fan. If elected I will change the landscape of this school. Be a witness to me. This is not about me. Our problems can be solved with one decision. Look to the stars for answers. Your search for a change agent ends here. I guarantee to keep Mr. Maurice’s cornbread in the menu. These things matter. Two fingers on one hand. On the other put up 3. That is a vote against my opponent. Kobe sucks. Vote for me. Just do it.

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NEXT WEEK: Smith, Smith Again.